Journey Into Coaching

Why did I take up Professional Coaching? Was it something that I had long contemplated and deliberately planned to do or was it one of those flavour of the month that would be cool to have on the list of training attended.

 

Actually, desperation led me to the path of coaching. I was going through a difficult pace at work, staring at a dead end situation without a clue for solution. Four long years had passed since I embarked on an ambitious human capital transformation program through several change initiatives, to developing technically competent Engineers into effective Leaders. Towards that end, we rolled out an ambitious Management Training Program that incorporated modules such as Strategic Planning, Performance management, Delegation, etc. Unfortunately, the training investment did not produce the desired results, due to operational constraints and failure in learning at the workplace. I was faced with a dilemma. How do I make managers see the light of what must happen to see through changing the status quo. That’s when I turned to coaching - a means to an end. I surveyed the market and coincidently found Thomas Crane running “The Heart of Coaching” workshop. What interest me more was the follow-up “Train the Trainer” workshop for those wishing to conduct in house residential programs. I realized the potential of the program as a breakthrough tool in getting leaders commited to engaging the workforce towards  creating high performance work culture. I attended the 2 days program and experienced  renewed energy and faith. The cure to my pain was finally answered. And, to support my plan, I brought along two managers.

Upon returning from the “Heart of Coaching”, I met my boss and presented my proposal to institutionalize coaching across the company. The idea was to run in-house coaching  programs with work-related coaching hours leading to professional certification. I suggested that, to make savings, I shall conduct the trainings upon attending the certified TTT. Before I could continue, my boss retorted, “What makes you to be qualified to coach?. He further added, ”You know how it is, you can’t change a leopard’s spots”. I was stunned and speechless, unable to make much of what or how to respond. I felt an implosion inside me. For the first time in my career life someone had boldly challenged my capacity and capability! 

Over the next few days, I thought long and hard. I had to consider coaching in a different momentum, one that could take me beyond the interest of my job and workplace. Now, it was for personal development on how it can help leverage me as a better leader. I performed an online search and connected with my network of friends to find out the best coaching program available in the market in terms of accreditation, applied value, duration, cost, coursework flexibility of payments, recognition, etc. After much sourcing, consultation and deliberation, I finally found my destiny with ICF accredited Corporate Coach Academy in Kuala Lumpur.

Coaching is a manifestation of significant behaviour that is tangible, genuine, experiential, actionable and measurable. It comprises of actionable steps that cannot be rhetorically overlooked, undermined, brushed aside and neglected by managers and supervisors.

The essence of the coaching model at CCA is founded on 3 simple steps, i.e the role of the coach is enable a coachee to :

1.SEE - Acknowledge that a serious problem exists and need to be resolved, now!

2.SAY –Create remedial solutions and commit to schedule plan of action steps.
3.DO- Execute the plan, report the progress and tweak it to success.

After 7 months of labour, sitting through exams, mentor coaching, 120 hours of assignments and recorded evaluation test, I finally made the cut. I could now add the title CPC to my name card. So, now what - where do I go fromhere?. Acquiring the modality of powerful questioning has not only made me a better coach but, more importantly, enveloped me in state of deep learning and heightened my level of consciousness and forward action.

Coaching, for me, was a life changing experience. It has undeniably made me a far better person– stronger inside. The greatest transformation I see in myself is the submissive acceptance to let go of things that are temporary and transitory in nature. As I learned how to coach others, I went through a metamorphosis, self-reflective and reviewing my own disposition - life plan, desired goals, happiness factor and priority of values such as trust, love, kindness, relationship, networks, money, patience and even anger. The coaching adventure served as crucial ‘check point” to refreshing my own personal life - making sense of the journey travelled this far and new path that I want to map out vis a vis to my destination. I have awaken from my own filters, limiting beliefs and have worked to become a better listener, communicator, leader, motivator and human.

Although I do not pursue coaching as a full time professional career, it dominates and plays an overwhelming role and influence in my training and consultancy works. I help people, at all levels, see their talent potential and the spirit within them to achieving excellence, generating solutions with ease and committing to action on goals. My passion and focus still remains in the arena of human capital management. I leverage on my coaching skills to offer objective, visible and measurable results of people performance to achieve effective operational outcomes and better business results. Having a strong footing in the areas of strategic mapping, performance management, competency mapping, change and leadership development, I help organisations see the gaps and breakthrough in connecting the dots. At the individual level, I feel a sense of fulfillment in reaching out to help (sometimes, pro bono) people become a better - be it in career or life.

If not for that chance encounter with my CEO, I would probably not have gone into professional coaching. Hence, I owe my gratitude to him for kindling the fire within to go on this journey. Thank you, Mr Mac. 

Tales of Two Behaviours

Over the last two weeks, I received the links to two Youtube videos from friends. Both were very interesting videos that brought across so much meaning to the purpose of living and need for continuous learning in life, no matter what age it be. 

The first, was a local Malaysian clip that went viral, involving a key speaker who is said to have behaved arrogantly and inappropriately to a fellow student from the audience. Watch the controversial part that got out of hand  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cV2-IrTKt3o.

Now, I don't care nor wish to discuss the merits of the questions or facts put forth by Bawani or Sharifah. I remain apolitical and cast aside my inclinations. All, I want to say here is purely from the perspective of bringing out some invaluable learning from adult behaviours or misbehaviours. So what sort of lessons can we take away ?. Well, I can think of few:

Communication

1.       Listen, Listen, Listen -  No, I am not being sarcastic to Sharifah. I’m merely impressing that we ought to seriously understand why god gave us two ears and one mouth. The art of listening is a skill that is easy to preach but hard to follow. It takes a lot of patience and conscious restraint in us to control our innate desire and tendency to speak, rather than listen. When we fail to master the listening skill, we tend to get distracted and gravitate towards shutting off the speaker. Hearing is different from listening. In hearing, we do not pay attention to what is said, rather we tend to devise ways to counter what the other person says. This is exactly what happened with Sharifah. Instead of allowing Bawani to finish her speech, she interrupted and demanded Bawani to listen, about 11 times. Given her adult maturity, forum experience and superior education than Bawani, surely she could have demonstrated tact and class in handling the situation.       

2.       Language -  I was not at the hall to know how it went down, but from what I saw in the clip, it seemed like Bawani was emotionally upset with certain statements made by Sharifah. I do not know what exactly worked her up, but whatever it was, she could have varied the tone, pitch and volume. In my view, it seemed like she was speaking loudly as if at some open protest rally. Bawani is by training a psychologist and currenlty studying to be a lawyer. And, she is also a Social Activist. Given this background, I am not sure which cap was she wearing when she was speaking to Sharifah. For her own professional sake, she needs to acquire a polished approach in articulating her thoughts and points across. She needs to learn and practice how to speak in a cool, calm and collective manner that can withstand against charges of provocative verbalisation. On this, Sharifah had the upper edge and which she harnessed to her advantage with support from a large group audience.   

Emotional Intelligence. 

Was Sharifah angry or emotionally upset with the stimuli - Bawani. Based on how she responded, it seem very much so. Sharifah lost her cognitive control (cool mind) and  flipped to experience the “amygdala hijack”. Coined by Daniel Goleman, it relates to the emotional part of the brain the Amygdala which regulates the "fight or flight" response. When threatened, the Amygdala can respond irrationally. A rush of stress hormones floods the body before the prefrontal lobes (regulating executive function) can mediate this reaction. Any strong emotion, anxiety, anger, joy, or betrayal trips off the amygdala and impairs the prefrontal cortex’s working memory. The power of emotions overwhelms rationality. That is why when we are emotionally upset or stressed we can’t think straight. For more insights, go to  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amygdala_hijack.

Sharifah is no Zidane but her infamous behaviour is just as good as a head butt!. I am sure she must, for her self development, review the video and do some soul searching reflection – why she did what she did. I am trying to empathise. What exactly was going through her mind from the time Bawani started speaking until her irrational mind kicked in. Was her rationale mind, during those critical moments, listening, recording, controlling the amygdala, analysing and mapping out a response over what to say in counter points, analogies and conclusive deductions. What can you make from, “Don't make comaprison iwth other countries, then what are you doing here, go to Cuba, Argentine, Libya …..”. This is definitely not the kind of statements that should come from a supposedly “better” educated person, no matter how patriotically provoked you may be. And, what about comparing human problems with that of animals?.  This part was, in my opinion, the final blow to her reputation, as someone with questionable EI.             

Answering Questions

Sometimes, the best way to answer a tricky or sticky question to which you don’t know or have a reasonably good to risk with is to simply “postpone” it. If Sharifah had been listening attentively, she could have answer Bawani is a professional manner without getting drawn into a frenzy of arrogance. In addition to rebutting what Sharifah had said in her speech, Bawani had posed some questions.  Acknowledging and respectfully brushing aside Bawani’s views and opinion aside, Sharifah should have focused on the questions, at hand. Instead, she alleged that Bawani was lacking education, citing her "disrespectful" attitude towards the elderly and therefore undeserving of being answered to. Once again, if this was a manipulative tactical ploy (and yes, diverting attention to the free Galaxy Note lucky draw !) to deflect from a sticky situation, it was in extreme immature, rude and cowardly taste.

Now, let me share another side of human behaviour. No, this is not about the mis-behaviour of educated adults. Quite the opposite, it’s about a humble kid teaching adults on what I have said above – communication, EI, Answering Questions – and much, much more. Most importantly, this story is about the most vital ingredient towards becoming or being a successful leader – unconditional love. The Team Long’s story is similar to Team Hoyt’s. The difference is, it's  about a brother’s sacrifice for a special reason. I really don’t know if anyone, including myself, could be like this kid. Seeing is believing, so, here it is. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ouhURNLsnjo&feature=player_embedded

Beautiful people like Conner Long appear, from time to time, to knock some senses in adults and show us the values of humanity that we take for granted or overlook, as we busily compete in the rat race. I hope we all can assimilate a little of what Connor has given or characterizes. In fact, we all could make this a better place to live in harmony, respect and love.

If there is a will, there is a way.

If it is to be, then it is up to me.