Sales Manager Tan & Service
Manager Kassim, walked into my room. Stress and tension was written all over their
face. They informed me that they wanted to download their grievances on their
boss (who happens to be my boss, too!). 
Each told their version which pretty much centered on the leadership style of the boss. The complaint was that the boss indulged in too much PR, at the expense of jeopardizing their job performance. They felt unhappy that the boss had failed to support them in sticky situations against “powerful” clients, who had close political connections with the board of directors. On few occasions they had to reject the client’s demand, in the interest of the company’s cash flow and policy compliance. Unfortunately, the boss had reversed their decisions, to please the clients. This made them feel small and slighted.
I explored the options available for Tan & Kassim, in resolving their conundrum with the Boss. After separating the facts from assumptions, both acknowledged the upside and downside to the boss. He is a humble and nice person who goes all out to please everybody. However, when push comes to shove in choosing between an employee and client, he would not standby the employee. Tan and Kassim knew this better, as old timers in the company.
After hearing enough, I advised them that this is something that they needed to sort out with their boss, in no uncertain terms. They agreed but requested my presence to help moderate the discussion. I consented and asked, “What is the expected outcome that they wanted out of the meeting?” They said, “they don't expect the boss will change, but at least they want to be heard and be done with”.
It was a good 2 hours no
holds bar meeting. Tan & Kassim Both got their grievances off their chest
and expressed that they would like to see the Boss support the empowered
decisions they make with clients. The Boss was his usual nice self, listened attentively and assured that he would
not interfere. Quite honestly, I had my reservations on how far the Boss would
walk his talk. And, I sensed that Tan & Kassim knew that, too.
Over lunch, I decided to let Tan & Kassim know 2 simple yet golden rules that needed to know in order to survive in their job.
Over lunch, I decided to let Tan & Kassim know 2 simple yet golden rules that needed to know in order to survive in their job.
Rule
1. No matter what, never ever go
against your Boss. (Believe me, there was a time I had refused to accept it). In the
name of finding happiness and engagement in the work you do, this rule is numero uno to every employee. And, that
includes for the top employee – CEO (unless you happen to be the owner or son !).
One must realize, whether you like it or not, that an employee has to serve the Boss. It never works the other way. I am also aware of this new thinking on leadership called servant leadership. But, you and I know the real deal at work - employee is the servant and boss, the master. When this “master-servant” relationship turns for the worst, the employee’s career is doomed. No matter what values or principles you may hold unto, you just simply can’t sustain in your job if you don’t have the chemistry working with your boss. So, before taking the plunge, think twice on the first rule “Never ever go against your Boss”. That includes saying, behaving, joking, thinking and even silencing, when the boss expects your support.
Rule 2. If you break Rule 1, be prepared to face the consequences. Simple law of physics reveal that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. And, this applies equally well on the most complex organism – human mind. In breaking rule 1, the span and degree of consequences can vary, from subtle deprivation to open intimidation. If the employee does not quickly overcome the differences with the boss, the communication and relationship will head south. A hairline fracture will worsen into a deep crack. Imagine the pent-up emotional undercurrents between two unhappy and angry individuals. Yes, in all the cases it is the employee who has to bear the brunt of the fall-out. Recall the Malay proverb, “Durian and Cucumber”. Therefore, it is critical for an employee to adapt, build and sustain a healthy and symbiotic working relationship with the boss. If not the parasitism will settle in and the inevitable will result - resignation or termination.
If you have a story in which the boss had to resign due to an employee’s victimisation, tell me about it. I can then come up with another, not rule, but tip on how to survive a career standoff with your boss.
The above rules come from personal career experiences and from employees who have sought my advice on what they should do. As hard as I tell them to be guided and stand firm by deep seated values and principles, it is insufficient guarantee to survive at the workplace. You win some, you lose some. But, I will firmly stamp to say that an employee must take accountability for his or her career. That decision, going forward, lies not with the boss. The boss can offer all the opportunities but the final decision lies with the employee. So, irrespective of how the work relationship with the boss is, don't take it out against the boss.
I always believed that when one door closes, another will open. Look at it from the bright side. In cases where an employee throws in the towel because of the boss, the employee should be thankful. The boss may have helped the employee grow, elsewhere. I went through it, many times.
Life is all about the making decisions and acting on it, based on freedom of choice. You chose what to you want to be or become. No one can force you into doing something that you wish not to do. Hence, no one is a victim until they themselves say they are. We are all gifted and talented in many different ways and can choose the path we wish for, be it the most or least travelled. The same rules applies to Tan, Kassim and the rest in any employee-boss working relationship. They do not have control over changing their boss, but they certainly have the powers to change themselves in determining the outcome of their career survival.
One must realize, whether you like it or not, that an employee has to serve the Boss. It never works the other way. I am also aware of this new thinking on leadership called servant leadership. But, you and I know the real deal at work - employee is the servant and boss, the master. When this “master-servant” relationship turns for the worst, the employee’s career is doomed. No matter what values or principles you may hold unto, you just simply can’t sustain in your job if you don’t have the chemistry working with your boss. So, before taking the plunge, think twice on the first rule “Never ever go against your Boss”. That includes saying, behaving, joking, thinking and even silencing, when the boss expects your support.
Rule 2. If you break Rule 1, be prepared to face the consequences. Simple law of physics reveal that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. And, this applies equally well on the most complex organism – human mind. In breaking rule 1, the span and degree of consequences can vary, from subtle deprivation to open intimidation. If the employee does not quickly overcome the differences with the boss, the communication and relationship will head south. A hairline fracture will worsen into a deep crack. Imagine the pent-up emotional undercurrents between two unhappy and angry individuals. Yes, in all the cases it is the employee who has to bear the brunt of the fall-out. Recall the Malay proverb, “Durian and Cucumber”. Therefore, it is critical for an employee to adapt, build and sustain a healthy and symbiotic working relationship with the boss. If not the parasitism will settle in and the inevitable will result - resignation or termination.
If you have a story in which the boss had to resign due to an employee’s victimisation, tell me about it. I can then come up with another, not rule, but tip on how to survive a career standoff with your boss.
The above rules come from personal career experiences and from employees who have sought my advice on what they should do. As hard as I tell them to be guided and stand firm by deep seated values and principles, it is insufficient guarantee to survive at the workplace. You win some, you lose some. But, I will firmly stamp to say that an employee must take accountability for his or her career. That decision, going forward, lies not with the boss. The boss can offer all the opportunities but the final decision lies with the employee. So, irrespective of how the work relationship with the boss is, don't take it out against the boss.
I always believed that when one door closes, another will open. Look at it from the bright side. In cases where an employee throws in the towel because of the boss, the employee should be thankful. The boss may have helped the employee grow, elsewhere. I went through it, many times.
Life is all about the making decisions and acting on it, based on freedom of choice. You chose what to you want to be or become. No one can force you into doing something that you wish not to do. Hence, no one is a victim until they themselves say they are. We are all gifted and talented in many different ways and can choose the path we wish for, be it the most or least travelled. The same rules applies to Tan, Kassim and the rest in any employee-boss working relationship. They do not have control over changing their boss, but they certainly have the powers to change themselves in determining the outcome of their career survival.
“If you say you can or say you can’t, you are right” – Hendry Ford.
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