The first under the public
victory domain, habit 4 ventures into the realm of recognising and
appreciating the right of others. It harmonizes the principles of Interpersonal Leadership. Like the
other remaining habits, it deals with making deposits into Emotional Bank
Account. Win-win is not a technique; it is a holistic and underlying philosophy of human interaction. If everyone
can think and act in a win/win paradigm, the world will be filled with only victories
and success.
According to Covey, there
are 6 paradigms of interactions, ie win-lose, lose-win, lose-lose, win, win-win
or no deal, and no win. Think win-win is a frame of mind and heart (yes, you
heard me right !) that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human
interaction. It means, in every given situation the thinking revolves around a magnanimous
theme, “how can I help you get what you want so that you can help me get what I
want”. It’s not about giving in or accepting less nor getting what you want by
beating it out of someone else. Since it involves relationships, it concerns the
character of integrity, maturity, the abundance mentality and most importantly,
trust. Trust is at the core of all relationships and nowhere is this felt more than
at work where you have people with indifferent character, goals and agendas. Covey
brilliantly equates trust in terms of Emotional Bank Account, in which the balance
outcome depends on the positive or negative deposits. Without trust, the best
we could do is compromise; without trust we lack the credibility for open,
mutual learning and communication and real creativity. To think Win/Win a person
must have 3 character attributes – integrity, maturity and abundance mentality.
Habit 5- Seek First To Understand, then To Be Understood
Habit 5 underscores the most
important principle in interpersonal
communication. If we understand better god’s natural gift to man, then
listening should occupy a greater part of our communication effort and skill.
Unfortunately, many have the uncanny tendency to confuse
it with hearing. Unassumingly, listening here refers to emphatic listening.
Most people do not listen with the intent to understand, but rather with the
intend and preoccupation to reply or to prove the other person wrong. Good or
active listening is critical to the cognitive development of our problem
solving and creative skills. Through active listening, you exercise the brain
faculty to diagnose before prescribing a response. This is the mark of all true
professionals. Attempts to be understood is the other half of habit 5, which
deals with making effective personal projections and presentations. It’s
essence is captured in three words - ethos, pathos and logos. Ethos is your
personal credibility, the faith people have in your integrity and competency.
Pathos is the feeling of trust you inspire in communication. Logos is the
logic, the reasoning part of the presentation.
Habit 6 – Synergise
Synergy, simply put, means
the whole is greater than the sum of it’s parts. It deals with miracles and
unexpected results. It thrives under the condition of principle-centered
leadership and creative co-operation. The very way that man and woman bring a
child into the world is synergistic. The essential element for this habit is
synergistic communication which means opening your mind, heart, and expressions
to new possibilities, new alternatives, new options, etc. I for one, personally
believe that challenging status quo as an important paradigm that could bring
out that synergistic effect. Synergy breeds on trust and co-operations. Let’s
look at how closely trust is related to communication. People working on this
habit must also be wary of the negative forces of synergy. Kurt Lewin’s theory
of ‘Force Field Analysis’ states that any current level performance as a state
of equilibrium between the driving force that encourage driving upward movement
and the restraining forces that discourage it. Both sets of forces are very
real and must be taken into account in dealing with changes. How often have we
heard people saying ‘It’s simply too difficult to
change; it’s the way things are; that is the current culture, too much politics
and personal agendas” .
Habit 7 – Sharpen The Saw
Habit 7 revolves around Personal Production Capacity. It is about reserving the greatest asset you have – YOU. It basically renews the four dimension of your nature – physical, spiritual, mental and social/emotional. And, it has great relevancy to sound organization theory and motivation – economic (physical); how people are treated (social); how people are developed and used (mental); and the service, the job and contribution to oneself and organization (spiritual). Sharpen the saw involves the self renewal forces of all these areas. It empowers us to move upward spiral of growth and continuous improvement. Moving along the upward spiral requires us to learn, commit and do. Peter Senge, the author of The 5th Discipline, said, “the ability to learn faster than your competitor may be the only sustainable competitive advantage”. I strongly believe this to be undeniably true. If we champion that people are at the centre of organisational sustenance and growth, then we do not have a choice other than to “synergise” that source of energy constantly and continuously through learning and growth. What better way to walking the talk than by institutionalising learning as an organisation-wide strategic initiative.
Many employees think that it is the responsibility of the organisation to provide training. That may be true but they are definitely not responsible for the outcome - learning. That responsibility lies with the individuals. That is why I take a strong position in imprinting “continuous learning” in all the places I have worked. I have created and conducted many informal learning moments for managers, executives and employees. And, this I have accomplished without top leadership support. It is my way of debunking the WIIFM(e) in favour of WIIFU(s). People can be energised to come together for collective learning. The recognition of efforts comes from those who have benefitted in more ways from the rich exchange of self reflections, arguments, corrections, new information, opportunities, confessions, failures and success.
Take Away Lesson
Much of what has been said may
seem far to good to be true for many. I, myself, have been in very trying
dispositions and have endured failures, despite religiously following 7 habits
challenge. I have even doubted if it is fashionably idealistic for practical
application in today’s materialistic obsessed world. Thankfully, I reminded of Covey’s
reassurance from his confession that
even he personally struggles with much of what he had written. He believes that
there are parts to human being that cannot be reached by either legislation or
education, but require the power of God to deal with. That’s why the prayer, “Lord,
give me the courage to change the thing which can and ought to be changed, the
serenity to accept the things which cannot be changed, and the wisdom to know
the difference”. No one can persuade others to change. Each of us
guards a gate of change that can only be open from inside, requiring us to take
that the inside-out journey. To those of you who feel handicapped to begin your
quality crusade because of the way ‘things’ are surrounding you, I strongly
advise you to start with Habit 1. This habit alone is foundational enough to
elevate us into adopting and embracing a new level of thinking, one that shapes
your paradigm and subconscious to do what is right – effective – to a cause
that could be larger than how it has been so far and which could offer a more
purposeful and meaningful life founded on principles, values, mutual respect, interdependence,
united, loyal and altruism. Most importantly, we should constantly strive to
learn and explore. As T.S Elliot said, ‘we
must not cease from exploration. And the end of all our exploring will be to
arrive where we began to know the place for the first time”.
If you are still wondering if this book is still relevant in the 21st century, then you should check out 10 Must Have Skills and Must Reads for Today's Worker.
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